Self-Advocacy is Self Care
In 2016, I read Shonda Rhimes’s Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person.
I took it one step further and decided I’d follow in her footsteps and also say “yes” everything.
By defaulting to “yes”, I realized I was sacrificing myself:
My needs, my wants, my dreams, my potential.
When I was writing Handle the Horrible, I kept reflecting on how often we sacrifice our sense of self to please others.
It’s a societal standard.
It’s an expectation from someone else.
It’s people pleasing to an extreme.
It’s boundaries.
And, while we pride ourselves on being a “self-care society” with memes, coaching , and products galore, we often act in the antithesis of self care with our on-the-go hustle society.
Self-Advocacy is Self Care.
Speak Up
Set the Boundary
Shift the Schedule
Set the Tone
You know your needs better than anyone else.
When you openly and transparently communicate those needs, you move the needle forward, for self-advocacy and self care.
In Handle the Horrible, I discuss my decision to resign from all of my non-profit board of director positions in late 2021. My letters read:
Since joining the board, I have experienced an abundance of change- from leading my child-based arts organizations through the pandemic to having a baby.
Recently, I've been taking inventory of my bandwidth and ability to contribute outside of my immediate personal and professional sphere. Leading during this crisis is tough, and it is long-game work that is not finished. I do not want to let this organization down in any way, so I wanted to be honest and transparent in my concern about fulfilling my duties and expectations.
As much as I'd like to go all in with you, I'm recognizing that it may not be possible right now. I would like to turnover my board seat to someone that can commit and invest in a way that continues to push the mission forward. I'd like to continue to cheer from the sidelines with the hopes of being able to serve again in the future.
I admire this board, and I love your mission.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it in a small capacity!
As friends, colleagues, and even clients, reach out to me about their personal and professional shifts, I remain mindful in my response.
When the intent is responsible and good, we have a duty to cheer on these shifts, even if they evoke change.
In the process, we’ll discover that self-advocacy will actually will enable us to dance it out, stand in the sun, and be our own person much faster than defaulting to “yes” ever will.
Intrigued?
Check out Handle the Horrible
